HOW TO PROMOTE AUTONOMY IN CHILDREN

A child who feels safe with his parents will soon want to explore the world around him and start his journey towards autonomy with small steps. If we encourage our children to be autonomous, we will be helping them gain maturity and feel capable of doing things for themselves, which will have a very positive impact on their self-esteem. And they need that self-esteem to feel happy and be safe in all their actions. But, How can we promote the autonomy of our children?

Today we leave you 13 tips to help them be autonomous, more confident in their abilities and happier. To do this, you have to allow them autonomy in different activities according to their ages and everything in their time: when they begin to move and explore crawling, at lunchtime, collect toys, bathe alone, do their homework ...

There is a Chinese proverb that says:

"Give a man a fish and you will give him food for one day, teach him how to fish and feed him for the rest of his life"

And something like that is what we have to apply with our children. If we give it all done every day, they will be unable to function on their own when we are not.

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13 tips for children to be autonomous

Given that autonomy is a process and not a goal, we can help our children to be more autonomous. From a young age, children should feel safe, later be able to choose and make decisions, while obviously we accompany and support them. How to strengthen children at each stage of their development and favor their autonomy?

Since birth, practice attachment, educating your children from respect and empathy, understanding and satisfying your demands and needs. This creates a strong emotional bond with parents and promotes the development of a safe and independent personality, willing to accept and overcome challenges.
Another pillar of autonomy is interpersonal communication, actively practiced and with respect, which will make our child know himself better (and we him). In addition, the child, through his gestural and verbal language when he has capacity, will openly express his desire to do things on his own and we must be attentive to these messages.
Set limits that provide security to the child. We must show firmness, but with affection, without authoritarianism and without permissiveness. If the child knows logical, reasoned and previously established limits, he receives the approval of his satisfactory behaviors and the reprobation of those who are not, he will feel safe in his actions.

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Offer games appropriate to your age. Not by trying to start before they will learn before. On the contrary, offering babies games and activities that are not suitable for their age (whether they are older or younger) we will achieve the opposite effect: the child will get bored.
Encourage your child to be autonomous and applaud his achievements, which will start being small. Trust the capacity of the child, since everyone will end up being autonomous in the different activities but it is a long process that advances step by step. Do not hurry, they grow very fast! Just show our interest in what they are trying and achieving.
Everything, at its age. We cannot encourage their autonomy in matters for which the child is not prepared. Sit alone, crawl, your first steps, your first scoop, put on your shoes, pee in the toilet, brush your teeth by yourself ... Step by step and according to your stage of development, you can start new challenges and achievements.

The school, but also any learning, are key in the development of the moral and intellectual autonomy of children. Learning must be meaningful, based on the game and appropriate to its age as we have indicated in the previous point.
Praise the successes of your children, avoiding exaggerated praise, which can be counterproductive in children with low self-esteem (while it can curb their desire to keep moving forward).
And since everything is not going to be progress and successes, you have to relativize children's mistakes and value the effort. The effort is a fundamental value for all people and for their future achievements. Talking about mistakes facilitates learning and development in the child of tolerance for frustration, self-control and self-esteem.
The child has the right to participation. Entrust small responsibilities at home to be more autonomous and confident. Little by little, you can involve your children in household chores, which are not just the parents thing. Or do we want that when they grow up they don't know or wash a dish and we have to do it all? Obviously adapting to his level, when he grows up we can give the child small tasks that he will have to develop later, such as fixing his bed, storing toys, tidying the room, helping to clean or set the table ...

Of course, both boys and girls should deal with these responsibilities and tasks if we want to educate them in equality and that they are autonomous to the same extent.

The child also has the right to make certain decisions, which is why we must include him in the small elections that fall within him or in which he can contribute his opinion. Simply by listening to it we are strengthening it (we return again to the essential communication). What to play, what dinner to prepare, what clothes to wear, what movie to watch ... are some small decisions that will help you have initiative.
Offer security to your child, accompanying him when he asks for it, being there for him, because for him you are the most important thing and what gives meaning to his discoveries. But let it unfold only when you see that it can already do it or somehow ask you to. Because overcoming small challenges, alone, will increase self-confidence and the desire to continue learning and demonstrate everything you know. If we give it all done, if we help you in everything, you will not feel the need to make an effort, as the Chinese proverb said ...

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Respect the child's moodThere may be times when you need to feel more clothed, less autonomous, and we cannot demand that you do this or what you have already done autonomously at times. It is not a setback if one day the child does not want to put on his shoes alone, just help him, let's talk to him in case he tells us what is wrong with him (maybe that day he just wants to be with dad or mom) and sure that he will do it again later, because he already knows.

Finally, we remind you of the Montessori table to know the different tasks for each age. Where is your child located? Have you already begun to be autonomous in these aspects? Remember, sooner rather than later, it will, provided we follow the tips to facilitate children's autonomy.

Photos | iStock
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