One more day (and they go ...) we echo in Babies and more of those news or articles in which children are at risk of ending up unemployed (poorly treated), focusing this time on an article that we have been able to read on the website of one of the largest Spanish companies related to children, nothing less than Dodot.
The article is entitled "Physical punishments" and it gives recommendations about the application of physical punishment to children, taking care that in the same way that there are no studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of cheeks there is none that has shown that This type of punishment causes significant long-term effects.
In summary you could say that it is something like a Brief manual for child abusers which serves to put a little consensus: "since we are going to hit the children, we are going to do it with a little order and concert".
The article is based on some recommendations from the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) that were published in 1996 (I guess that no one should have thought of a better way to educate children in 15 years), which in America may be accepted in most states, but that In Spain, since 2005, it is considered a criminal offense.
Analyzing the article
As explained, paste is defined as follows:
Physical punishment that is not harmful. Its objective is to modify the behavior. It is applied with the palm of the hand on the arms, legs or buttocks of the child.
Personally I do not believe that there is a physical punishment that does not cause damage in the short term. The objective is to modify the behavior and, for this, it must be of such magnitude that the child is affected so that from that moment he changes his way of acting with the intention of not receiving another physical punishment. The one who rejects something and acts with the intention of avoiding it is the one who feels hurt when it happens. If the physical punishment were not harmful, it would not cause behavioral changes.
On how to apply it, with the palm of my hand, it is not clear to me whether the fingers should also be part of the surface of action or not, as well as it would be good to specify how many Newtons of force should be applied or perhaps to detail what the path is that the arm must do until reaching the objective, because it is not the same to do it with a slight play of wrist that to take back the arm and to use all the route that the shoulder allows to release the hand (note the sarcasm in this and the rest of comments, please)
Although no long-term study has shown the effectiveness of cheeks, there is also no one that has shown that this type of punishment has significant long-term effects.
Of course, no study has shown that kicking a child on even days causes negative effects. That it is not studied does not mean that it is acceptable.
Another very different issue is children's physical punishments that go beyond these limits, such as hitting with objects, slapping in other parts of the body (such as the head or face), causing injuries or combining physical punishments with uncontrolled rage.
The ideal then is to do it without rage and in a little visible place. If so, no problem, now, if someone sees the marks on the face or head is that you have overreacted. Regarding the limits, who specifies them? Wouldn't it be more logical use the law as a limit? Because article 153 of the Criminal Code says that "The one who by any means or procedure will cause another psychic impairment or an injury not defined as a crime in this Code, or will hit or mistreat another's work without causing injury, when the offended party is or has been a wife, (...), or a particularly vulnerable person who lives with the author will be punished with the imprisonment of six months to one year or work for the benefit of the community for thirty-one to eighty days and, in any case, deprivation of the right to possession and bearing of weapons of one year and one day to three years, as well as, when the Judge or Court deems it appropriate to the interest of the minor or incapable, disqualification for the exercise of parental authority, guardianship, conservatorship, custody or foster care up to five years ” .
This type of punishment does not modify the behavior permanently and is associated with long-term negative effects, such as increased aggressiveness, low self-esteem and problems in relating to other people. This type of corporal punishment should be avoided.
That is, the one in which you go beyond the limits does affect the long term, but the one applied with the open hand on the arms, buttocks or legs does not ... interesting (although the law does not speak of legs, arms or heads, for luck).
It is not advisable to hit babies or children under 2 years old, since the risk of causing injuries and that the punishment intensifies is greater for this age group.
Of course, once you start, you don't finish ... also, as you say, it is better not to do it, because there is a risk of causing injuries, that if there were not it could be done ...
If the person in charge of caring for the child feels that he loses control, it is not advisable to hit the child since in these circumstances, the danger of causing physical and psychological damage is much greater.
That said, if done, let it be with a cool head.
Physical punishment in older children and adolescents is not effective and is associated with aggressive behaviors and many other forms of behavioral dysfunction in later stages of life.
Logical, when a child is older he is able to realize that they are hurting him on purpose and able to discern that that's not right. For this reason, the effect that physical punishment can cause can be dangerously devastating. Better to do it with the little ones, because overall, as you will hardly remember what happened ...
If parents feel they "hit" their child "constantly," they should retract and see if they can act differently. Usually, there are many ways that can help us improve things.
If parents constantly hit a child they all have a serious problem, both the father and the son. Of course they should put means to learn to relate to each other (as urgent professional help, for example).
If you think you should hit a child to behave, at least reserve that punishment for situations in which you want to make an immediate impact on him and show him that such behavior is not only prohibited, but also dangerous. An example would be for the child to run to a street or start a kitchen.
Because children do it on purpose and with all the bad intentions ... What about the dialogue? What about the surveillance of responsible parents if they believe their child is at risk of doing something dangerous? What about the self-criticism to see that that would not have happened if we had been watching our son? What about using other strategies to understand what you can and cannot do?
In general, physical punishment scares and annoys the child and is very annoying for most parents. These fights leave scars, therefore, it is important that you think well before hitting your child to see if it really is worth doing.
In this and other paragraphs that I have not cited, it is shown that Some sanity remains in the person who wrote that article.
Whatever your decision regarding hitting, make sure all family members and the nanny agree on how they will apply the discipline. The contradictions will harm the better elaborated plans. Rest assured that children who perceive that there are differences of opinion are going to cause a fight between their parents or turn to Grandma to protect them. A child who knows no limits, who is not sure of the consequences of his actions or who believes that discipline is negotiable, is an anxious and unhappy child. Get together and discuss this topic. A jointly developed discipline plan is convenient for everyone.
However, after the sanity the madness returns and we observe that it is advisable that if the parents decide to apply a corporal punishment from time to time, the whole family joins “the party” so that the child sees it as normal: “yes everyone hit me is that here it is normal for one to get hit ”.
Complaints to Dodot via email
Following the publication of this article, a Facebook group called Me outraged that Dodot encourages hitting children has been created and several complaints have been made to Dodot via e-mail for publishing an article that apologizes for child abuse, an act that commits a criminal offense.
Dodot has responded as follows:
Moms, from Dodot we are constantly investigating different sources of information in order to offer you different points of view in all areas. In this case, the article was not intended to take any position on the subject, it is the vision of Dr. Suzanne Dixon, a recognized pediatrician in the branch of child behavior in the United States, but we understand that the vision of this Dr. may have caused controversy And we welcome your suggestions.
However, the article has not been withdrawn and some moms and dads, among which I am included, have made an online complaint at the Child Advocate Window.
Is intolerable that violence against children continues to be accepted in the 21st century. It makes no sense for parents to fight day and day also in trying to offer our children an education based on respect for others if the social mass accepts the possibility of losing respect for the little ones in this way.
As is often advised in these terms, for those who doubt, I beg you to replace the word "child" in the article with "woman," "black," or "elder." The effect is extremely unpleasant (as it is for me to read these articles with the words "baby" and "child").
Now it is OK. Train, think, investigate, study or do whatever it takes to learn new educational strategies, if any, to show children what is right and what is wrong so that their body or their body is not harmed. Your psyche We are adults and we are called "rational beings." Let's show that we are and let's show why we are different from animals irrational
Finally I leave you with a phrase (mine), which I have used here on more than one occasion (this is the legacy I will leave alive ... I will ask my children to record it on my gravestone): “Every time dad hits me it gets bigger. Every time he hits me, I'm smaller.“
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Dodot has proceeded to remove the item of his website and in apology he commented the following:
Thank you Dads and moms of Dodot for helping us realize this human and technical error that has taken place. That is why we have proceeded to remove the article by Dr. Suzanne Dixon from our website. Please accept our apologies and count on this not happening again. It is our commitment to continue learning, thanks to your help, every day.
Rectify is wise, they say ...
