I know that I haven't heard from our third pregnancy, but there was not much to tell, on the one hand, and we still weren't quite sure about the sex of the baby, on the other.
About a month ago Miriam went to have an ultrasound while I took the major to the dentist. She saw clearly that it was a child, the gynecologist did not pronounce too much and I, when I saw the video, I was not able to get wet either (or rather, I didn't want to get wet).
When he left the gine he called me to see where we were (if we had already finished at the dentist) and then he said nothing to me. At that moment I knew he was a child, a boy who would be called Guim.
I wanted a girl
I wanted a girl and she knew it, so if I had been a girl I would have said something on the phone. But he said nothing, he didn't tell me until he saw me before his eyes, at which point he told me with that "I'm sorry for you" look that he was another child.
She is happy because she wanted another boy and I was sad because she wanted a girl. It's not that I'm not going to love my third child, it's absurd to think of such a thing, but hey, it's that I already know what it is to have children and I was hoping to know what it is to have a girl with this pregnancy.
“Better boy, he was selfish”
Lastly, now that we know he is a boy, people tell me that deep down it was selfish to want him to be a girl, because for my two children it will always be better to have another child.
They say that this way they will share more time, that way they will play more and I really do not see it. I don't see it because they explain it to me in a way that seems that boys and girls cannot share time or games, as if they speak different languages, as if we were suddenly going to gather water and oil in a glass.
Far as I know, girls and boys also play together. A boy can play dolls and a girl can play fights or football. A boy can play sitting down to feed his dolls or the sister's stuffed animals (or his own) and a girl play with the Gormiti.
I know that the Gormiti are not pink, nor do they come in a pink box, but I think girls know how to capture more colors than pink and can also play with toys that are not in the pink aisle of the toy store. I say, come on.
Why did i want girl
I wanted a girl for a very simple reason: because I already have two children and I wanted to know what it was like to raise a girl. Girls are different from boys. They communicate differently, they act differently, they tend to be more rogue (they say), more talkative and I simply wanted to live the experience of having a daughter.
They say that girls are more of parents and I wanted to know to what extent it is true and, if so, to enjoy it. I wanted to have a little person who stood on the other side of the scale of my two children and brought them different things ... a little sister, with a different body, a different voice and a different way of being.
It's not that Guim is going to be more of the same, because you never know, maybe he's the perfect child to unbalance the equation and act differently from them. This is something I will know in a while, but a priori, given the possibility of choosing or wishing, I chose a girl.
Now I have a strange feeling of emptiness that tells me that "you will never know what it is to have a daughter" and the truth is that I feel a little sorry. But nevertheless, the joy of knowing that in a few months I will have a baby in my arms again, Guim in my arms, relieves any regrets. Come on, after a month, the girl's thing is already forgotten (although I wanted to explain it to you).
With regard to the videos, the one you can see above is from yesterday. It comes just as the gynecologist recorded it, so it lasts “only” 7 minutes and in the end you can see how the ultrasound machine turns off (“sorry”). The one that I leave next is the one of a month ago, when Miriam knew that he was a child.
