As he grows, the child becomes increasingly independent. Although parents continue to be their main reference and support, more or less from the first year of life, the child begins to assume that he is not part of us.
He begins to develop his own autonomy and forge his personality as an independent being, and many times it is hard for him to accept that he does not control things by himself.
For his part, he is still small to make his own decisions, so many times he must accept those made by adults for him. He does not like this so much, causing obfuscation, obstinacy or the well-known tantrums, absolutely normal and healthy reactions that are part of the child's personality development.
The child frustrations They are part of the child's growth. It is a state of disappointment with unmet needs or impulses. As parents, we will see how can we help our children so that the frustrations that you inevitably have to experience become a positive teaching.
To overcome children's frustrations it is essential to identify feelings and be able to express them, this is easier in children who already speak, of course, but in younger children it is very important to know how to observe them in order to identify their needs.
Many times, it will be inevitable for the child to feel frustrated. The key is that you learn to overcome that frustration in the best possible way, with our support and understanding.
The example of the fingers on the plug
As we just said, experiencing frustrations is sometimes inevitable, but it is in us to get ahead to try to reduce the situations in which they are avoidable.
For example, if the child tries to do something that is dangerous for him like putting his fingers in the plug, we will say no and we will turn it away a thousand times. It is still small to understand that it is dangerous and it is also small to remember every day that it is something you should not do.
But those little holes in the wall make him very curious, therefore stopping you from doing something you want to do will surely cause frustration which will express in the form of crying or anger.
Now, we cannot avoid the frustration of crying because we do not let him do something dangerous for him, but we can avoid the situation that is causing the conflict. How do we do it? Well, putting protectors on all the plugs of the house.
When the baby begins to crawl and explore everything, we must protect the house to avoid accidents. When covered, the child probably does not try to approach the plug, because the plastic cap will not get as much attention as those two little holes in which his fingers seem to fit perfectly. You will accept that you cannot do it and pay attention to something else.
Conclusion, if we can do something as parents to avoid frustrations in children, we must do it. This is just an example, in which we say "no" because their integrity is at stake, but it helps us to reflect on the number of times we say "no" just because it is good for adults who do not .
Frustrations will be ... and it is healthy that there are
It is normal for the child to feel frustrated on some occasions, but if frustrations are managed with receptivity by adults, you will learn from them and they will help you grow. The key is the delicate balance between too many frustrations and few frustrations.
A child who is constantly frustrated, that everything he tries to do is impeded or disapproved, will feel defeated and will not advance in his development. He will believe that he does everything wrong by slowly undermining his self-esteem.
If the baby or child frequently experiences frustrations to their normal needs, both physical (eating, drinking, diaper, sleeping) and emotional (arms, contact, affection, attention) will develop anxiety patterns. He will develop a response to fear because his parents are not there to assist him. You will probably have aggressive responses that will prevent you from learning to tolerate frustrations.
There are children who face the slightest feeling of frustration trying to get attention by Bad behavior.
A child cannot tolerate too much frustration. However, if you assume that your parents will meet your needs, you will feel safer to risk becoming frustrated.
For their part, a small dose of frustration helps them grow. There are situations in which it is inevitable that they feel frustrated, for example, when they have to go to kindergarten because parents have to work and there is no other, or because a bucket cannot fit inside a toy because it is still very small . The important thing is that the parents accompany, support and explain the situation to the child.
How to act in frustrations
As parents, we must try to avoid, as far as possible, the frustrations of our children. If we look at their behaviors and understand their needs by putting ourselves in their children's skin, we will see that it is not something difficult to achieve. Many times we provoke frustrations that we could have avoided with more understanding or anticipating their needs.
Those frustrations that cannot be avoided, but we are there to support you, contain you and teach you, they will teach you. If the child has the affection of his parents, even if he is wrong he will have the security of having them and will learn to handle the frustration properly. This will help you tolerate it better, trust your abilities and know how to give up desires in a normal way.
We hope these tips help to better manage the frustrations of your children. In the next posts we will talk about the types of child frustrations, classified according to the reason that causes them: frustrations caused by adults, children, objects or the child's own age.
