There comes a time when you have a child (or more) when the jungle call comes back and mom feels she is ready to bring a new baby to the pack. Parents think that we don't feel that baby's body need, that instinct so much, but that it is a more rational thing (I want to have two, I want to have three).
The fact is that when the couple feels that a person is missing at home, a new baby, and considers whether or not to have another child, they feel the need to also ask the older brother if he would accept the arrival of a little brother, to the point that They ask him, "Honey, would you like to have a little brother?" And I wonder, Is it necessary to ask?
If the child is small
I wonder because there are mothers who ask small children, 2 or 3 years old, who are barely able to choose between putting on a gray or a black T-shirt (in any case they choose the last one that you teach a little to solve the dilemma), about the future of that family and of course, Such an important decision I don't think it should be left in the hands of such a small child.
Ok, it's true, the final decision is always from the parents and not the three-year-old (bad if it were), but then, why ask him? If you say yes it seems that you had to see when looking for another baby but, What if he says no? What if he answers flatly that "I don't want a little brother at all"?
If the child is older
If instead the child is older, it may make more sense (something more, not much more) to ask, because he is already able to give a reasoned answer. He is a child, he is the son, he is a family member and parents can decide to give him a voice.
In relation to giving a vote, as I have said before, I do not believe that a child should decide whether to have siblings or not. Many times children say no because suddenly they imagine a smaller being with great concerns touching their things and their parents sharing time and resources (that is, toys and gifts) between the two and the same child, with a few more years and with more desire to share time and game, being able to say that "I would have liked to have a brother."
Ask when there is no remedy
This also happens. Dad and mom have decided to have a baby and mom gets pregnant. Then, to give the news, they occur to ask a question: "Honey, would you like to have a little brother?" Of course, we start from the basis that most children say yes (logical, we go with a face of happiness on the face and with eyes so open and eyebrows so high that the strange thing is that they say no) and that's why we ask, to say “yes” and then we will surprise you but, once again, What if he answers no? It's like Sunday night when you announce to your son that tomorrow he goes to school: “Come on, let's sleep that tomorrow we have to go to school. Do you feel like going to school tomorrow? ” And the boy goes and says no, to which we answer "well, now, but you have to go, so go to sleep." Well that, for what questions, to create an expectation that will never be fulfilled?
Well, I mean something similar, if it turns out that the child says no and you are almost stroking your belly, then let's see how you say that “honey, it turns out that you are going to have a little brother, the one you don't want to have " Well, that's why you avoid it by not asking the question.
Give the news and you're done
My suggestion is that let's not ask the children, because having or not having a child is a decision important enough for a young child, unable to assess the issue in all its dimensions, gives us his opinion. If we consider that we are interested in his opinion, then we must be clear that we can receive a “no” as an answer and if in the end we decide to have it we will have to explain very much why, even though he did not want, we have finally decided to have another child .
I don't know, this is very personal, of course. I let my children decide on a lot of everyday things and they have a lot of freedom to do what they prefer at all times (as long as they don't disrespect anyone), but this seems to me to be bigger words, a decision that only adults should make because it is true that a child gives many joys, but it is also true that he gives more work, more responsibilities and requires resources and time that not all families can offer and this is something that only parents can value.
