Gloria is the mother of three children, and has competed as a gymnast in Spanish and international championships, as well as in an Olympics, we are talking about someone who knows a lot about sports. Although he has also encountered one of the more negative aspects of sports practice, which are sexual abuse of children (ASI) in the sports environment, because like other girls and boys of his time and current has been victim.
Do not hesitate to clarify that you are not a psychologist, although I do not need it to validate your experience and opinion on this issue. One of Gloria's children has also been Runner-up (from Europe and the world), and this helps me to clarify that we are talking about a committed woman who knows to be informed about ASI in sports, It is intended for minors to practice it safely.
Sexual abuse of children in any field is still a social taboo today: it is not easy to talk about them, it is not easy for the media to echo, it is not easy for children to be believed. However, they are a reality that is characterized by being hidden and everyday. We have published many entries on this subject, and even a thorough interview with Vicki Bernadet (remember?) In which it is stated that more than 80% of the abuses are committed by a person close to the child. From my point of view we have no choice but for parents to accept that they exist, and inform us to know how to prevent them, and so that our children can protect themselves (even if we assume it will never happen to them). After all it is not a current problem, and although it is now more visible, the level of consciousness has not increased much compared to some years ago. When we were children, sexual abuse was also committed against minors, and the statistics were the same, in fact we want to recognize it or not, we can all know in our environment someone who was abused.
Gloria tells us with surprising clarity, compared to physical punishment, that if she is suffering from a very obvious social rejection (even though she still sticks to children), the ASI are still surrounded by a safe occult, and of course, we all say we are against it, but we prefer not to speak.
The line of sexual abuse is very clear and has always been very clear. It is a heinous crime and always has been. It is committed little by little, very subtly, very secretly and in privacy. Sex offenders abuse their power over children, as an adult or as a coach and are gradually testing and surpassing lines that should never be exceeded
Children are abused mostly by acquaintances
And that is why our children should know that there are also limits that people around them should not exceed. Let's say it clearly: family, neighbors, teachers, sports trainers… not all of them are monsters, rather the opposite, but We can't leave children in anyone's hands! Also, keep in mind that the sports environment can be ideal for these crimes to continue to be committed with impunity.
The vast majority of coaches are exceptional as professionals and as people, like those I had the good fortune to find for my children. My goal is to help detect precisely those that are not and, above all, to help as parents teach our children to protect themselves.
It seems that work is now being done to establish control methods and protocols for the prevention of sexual abuse in sports, at least at a high performance level. But in Gloria's opinion, it is not necessary to uproot children to live in permanent concentration, unless they live far from high performance centers. Do not be blinded by the popularity of Federations, titles and other ostentations, the first step to trust would be to find as much information as we can, interview with those responsible, and coaches.
The welfare of our children is in our hands, never delegate
Could it be that we are wrong to choose ?, of course, or at least I intuit it, however, the parents' job is also to know how to recognize the alarm signals (any sudden change in behavior has a cause, obviously they will not always be the ASI, but we must also count on them).
'We must talk to our children about their body and about sexuality and call each thing by name. We must teach them where the limits are, to say NO and that it is NOT NO. We must create enough confidence in them so that if they have any questions, it is up to us to ask. '
Coaches are sports professionals, period… I mean by that that children must be clear that in no case should roles be allowed to be confused. Nor should it be dramatized that the coach embrace the child in a moment of joy, but that is not the same as locking himself in a room for massage, or going on vacation together. The limits that should not be exceeded must also be known by children.
Practical advice to prevent
I also link it below, but the content of this subtitle is literally copied from the entry Gloria has written for her blog, a fantastic job, nobody better than her to express it:
Three is a crowd. Many times it helps that there is a third person always present, adult or child. Most of these sexual crimes are crimes that occur in privacy. Unfortunately, and my case or the case of Karate are good examples of this, even this does not sometimes prevent abuse, especially if the third person is an adult complicit in the abuse or another child in the same situation as the Abused child
Touch and "touch". It is curious that, compared to other sports, there seems to be no more cases of child sexual abuse in sports where the coach's contact with the athlete is necessary for the sport itself (in gymnastics, for example, it is necessary for the coach to help to the gymnasts to make the new elements for safety). Again, explain to your children where and how a coach can touch (help) you and where and how you CANNOT do it. Be very explicit about what your coach's behaviors are acceptable and which are not.
Broaden horizons. You should talk with your children not only about coaches but about anyone who is in contact with them in their day-to-day: physios, teachers, technicians ... even other classmates: anyone who is in contact with our children and the little one Consider a trustworthy person.
No secrets. Encourage your children to tell you what they do in training even if they are "nonsense." Teach them to trust you when it comes to telling you the good and the bad. Let them tell you when they are afraid, sad, happy, frustrated, angry. Do not judge them. Children who have an open line of communication in the family, it will be easier for them to alert you to "weird" things before they become a problem. Do not accept as good that phrase so typical in the sports fields of "What happens in here does not leave here" ... "What happens in this wardrobe stays in this locker room." Of that nothing. Teach your child that there are no secrets in your family even if your coach says so. "Secrets" are the most powerful weapons in the arsenal of pedophiles.
Are things by their name. Teach your children the correct names of all parts of their body. Knowing the sexual organs with names like “chichi” or “colita” can delay, ashamed, that they tell you that they have been touched inappropriately.
Play with your child "what would you do if ..." These types of games will help your child know how to react in compromised situations. “What would you do if someone offered you a candy in the street? Help your child get the answers to those questions ready. Help them to know that you can say NO and that it is NOT NO. And in case of doubt, let them understand that they should consult you first.
Teach your children to respect the privacy of others. Children must learn to respect the limits of others. When they are more able to recognize the limits of their friends or colleagues, the easier it will be for them to recognize when someone is crossing their own limits.
Teach your children to decide for themselves how to show affection. Children should never be forced to kiss or hug if they are uncomfortable. It is they who must choose how to show affection. The limits that our children put us in that regard must be respected at home as anywhere. With this we can teach them to protect themselves from people who exceed the comfort line of our son when it comes to showing affection.
And again, teach them that it is NOT NO. Your child must learn to say NO and that this should NOT be respected even at home and by adults. For example, as a practice, when tickling wars are made between brothers, they must stop at the moment when the child says NO.
And now a recommendation, for those who think that talking about these issues at home will instill fear in the children, Is it true that you can educate them to protect themselves when crossing the street without car terror?Well, that, the information is not scary, it gives security.
I think Gloria is a very brave woman, we need people that are so committed, but we must also commit ourselves to the rest of the parents, the prevention of ASI in any field is a shared responsibility, it cannot be that we look elsewhere when it comes to a topic that it affects 23/25 percent of girls and 10/15 percent of boys, don't you think?
Images | USAG- Humphreys, Vincent Li, Elizabeth Roberts Via | Gloria Visors On Peques and More | We highlight the problem of child sexual abuse: World Day for Prevention
