In the same way that when a child of 6 or 7 months cries or complains about something we blame it on the teeth, like a tailor's drawer, when a small baby cries often there are those who end up putting part of the blame on the mother with the typical: "is that what you have to do is be more calm ... you get nervous and clear, you run your nerves through the milk".
And women, who must already be accustomed to being guilty of all the ills of humanity and, obviously, of all the bad things that happen to their baby, try to take a deep breath, begin to think about how to calm down, remembering that "this being a mother is not being as idyllic as I thought "and the unthinkable and necessary happens, that the mother starts crying feeling even more pressed.
And here is when you ask yourself: Will it be true? Can mothers pass nerves and stress to their children through breast milk?
I have always thought that no, that the nerves are passed one to a baby by the simple fact of being nervous. No matter what the mother, father or grandmother. If you're nervous, if your crying already makes you desperate, if you are not treating him with love, the child will not calm down, because you take him tense, you take him harder and you walk him with a less calm walk and it seems that children smell it and say "I do not want to be taken care of like that".
However, I have always heard that oxytocin is the hormone of love and that being breastfed is great because you cause the mother's oxytocin secretion, which makes her "fall in love" even more with you and because by secreting oxytocin from milk, you also "fall in love" even more with your mother.
Oxytocin is the hormone of love, and cortisol, which we could say is one of its opposite, is the hormone of stress and anxiety.
If oxytocin passes into milk, why can't cortisol also pass? So after asking myself this question I started looking for studies, in case someone had thought about it and studying this and yes, I found them.
What does the scientific evidence say
In a study conducted in 2007 with 253 mothers and their two-month-old babies, the plasma cortisol level was analyzed, which is practically equal to that of milk (the more cortisol in the blood, the more cortisol in the milk) and the Babies' behavior, compared to babies who drank artificial milk.
The researchers noted that when mothers had higher plasma cortisol levels babies had more scary behaviors, who were as more alert. This did not happen when babies (also with mothers with high plasma cortisol) drank artificial milk.
With these data they concluded that the way of living or feeling the life of mothers could also serve as an example or guide to shape the development of the temperament of babies, through breast milk.
Another 2013 study tried to find the effect of increased cortisol levels in breast milk in 52 mothers with their 3-month-old babies.
They saw that there was a relationship between cortisol levels and negativity in the baby's temperament (something like that with more cortisol, babies were more crappy), but apparently this only happened in girls, and not in boys (although they comment that these data should try to replicate them in new studies). They found no relationship when it came to seeing if children tended to be more demanding with more cortisol, nor were there differences in the ability to counsel.
So, do the nerves pass through the milk to the babies?
Well, view the evidence yes, in a way yes, and in part it has a certain logic. Now a woman's nerves or stress does not put her in danger, but a few years ago, or depending on where you live, stress or fear can be very useful to survive and flee from danger or be on the alert (in a situation of conflict, war, etc.).
If all this passes through the milk, the baby can make that baby, then a child, be more able to be alert and find a way to survive.
But of course, in our environment and in our time it is not necessary to be alert all day, so It is interesting that the mother is relaxed so that the baby is also relaxed.
Obviously, in the same way that not only does milk produce the character of a baby for good, since it is its genetics and especially its direct environment, neither is it only milk that produces the character for evil. In other words, nerves or stress are not going to have the baby only for the milk he sucks, but also for the environment he lives on a daily basis. So it is not a plan now to walk telling the mother that it is her fault that her son cries a lot because he runs the nerves through the milk.
And what to do?
Well, as we said a few days ago when talking about malnourished mothers, to make sure that a mother has perfect milk and in conditions the mother has to be well fed, and that means that her environment supports her. Well, in this case the same thing, we must help mothers so that, if they are nervous, they can take it better, so that they live maternity in a healthier way so that they do not affect their baby externally or in a way internal, through milk.
For that they need support, a shoulder to cry on, if necessary, and be available for whatever they need. And obviously, to say less that "quiet", that to say it will not change the thing.
