When we are on twitter, one thing leads to another, and each of us travels through this social network based on their interests; That must have been the main reason that I ran into # Hayvidadesdelos6.
The initiative (which you will discover below in all its splendor) I found most attractive, because we are very used to information blogs and experiences with children who are little more than babies. But our children grow up, as you well know, your needs change, and our role in your life adapts, this together with that from the age of six to the end of childhood many years pass; It must necessarily be reflected in the blogosphere.
It should and so it is in practice, and the mothers / fathers who are behind each one of those blogs, of those profiles in social networks, know each other, and share doubts, experiences ... Today you are going to meet some of them, and also to Maria (Merak Luna is her 'alter ego'), that one day decided to promote joint participation in issues of interest to all.
She has a degree in Journalism and a mother, she tells us that she has been working in a newspaper for 15 years, and that she appeared on Twitter there by October of last year, landing fully in the Club of the Bad Mothers, and discovering a world so unknown as exciting. It was a matter of (little) time to rescue a forgotten account on that social network, and that his 2.0 personality was born with which he already feels very identified. Then the blog arrived (she likes to 'extend' writing and 140 characters give little): “Implosive Cyclogenesis”, and surely many good experiences. Today we interview her for you ...
Peques and more.- Can you tell us what # hayvidadespuesdelos6?
María Fernández.- It is an initiative aimed at making parenting a little more visible beyond six years. The idea is to propose a monthly theme around the daily reality of the school-age children and even teenagers and that every third Monday of the month, blogs that are interested in participating publish articles related to that proposal. The goal is, at least once a month, to "force" us to make older children the protagonists.
Parents are more reluctant to publicly expose the problems of our older children
PyM.- How did the idea to start the project come about?
M.F.- It happened by chance, from an article I wrote regarding all the doubts that were raised to me now that my daughter is around eight years old and, above all, my ignorance about blogs and reference pages that would help me at this stage. It was one of my most read posts - which is not to say much either - but, above all, it was one of the most talked about and the ones that gave me the most play on social networks.
There I realized that I was not the only one who had those concerns and that really in the maternal / paternal blogosphere in which I moved there many mothers who were willing to share their experiences with the rest. And many times it is about that, not about someone giving you solutions or guiding you, but about seeing that you are not the only one who is going through that, that your child is no different from the rest.
PyM.- I suspect that one of the motivations is to reclaim the space of families with children who are no longer babies, but still have needs, and for which we continue to worry, right? Do you think that in general little attention is paid to a stage of life that is very long?
M.F.- I believe that, more than lack of attention is lack of visibility.
When we premiere in parenthood, we walk with lead feet, sometimes disoriented, insecure, and devour information through all the means at our disposal to reaffirm our work. As children grow up, and although worries do not disappear, in general, parents do feel more confident, with more resources, to address them. In addition, many of those informative “platforms” that accompanied us since pregnancy began to close stages and let us “fly” alone.
Nothing could be further from the truth, doubts continue to haunt us. So part of that generation continues to demand information and I think it is a matter of time before initiatives that offer it to us begin to appear. Now, for this we must openly claim it, and that is where parents are more reluctant to publicly expose the problems of our older children.
PyM.- After having the idea, you contacted moms and daddies bloggers, I imagine, did you know them all? Did you like the idea?
M.F.- I am tremendously novice in both the blogging world and in social networks, so first I consulted the viability of my idea with one of the friends I've been forging in recent months. The truth is that they seemed suitable, because they agreed that this lack existed, a gap that needed to be filled. Without their collaboration, it would have been impossible for this to have a minimum impact, because through their blogs and social networks, they helped me to give visibility to the # hayvidadespuesdelos6. From there I contacted, first, the bloggers who had shown interest in that first post; also with my "friendships" tweeting with children in that age group, but always trying not to compromise anyone.
I think that, at this stage, what concerns us most is the emotional development, the social life of the children, their education, the relationships between siblings and with the rest of the family
PyM.- You have told me that it is an open initiative, that is, the expectation is that there is some mobility between participating blogs. What were the participants of the first edition?
M.F.- It is open and I want it to also be flexible and, above all, not to be an obligation for anyone. For starters, whoever wants to participate can participate. The only requirement is that it suits the proposed theme but, from there, the approach I give is always very personal and free. It is flexible because, although we have set out to publish the third Monday of each month, the date is merely indicative. In fact, some blog that will participate in this second call, today, has already published its entry, - which we will recover that day - and in the previous edition I have been linking blogs throughout the week, not just Monday.
It is important to also say, on the one hand, that people who want to participate can do so occasionally and also that the posts do not have to be new, You can "retrieve" entries that had already been published in the past and that fit the theme.
In the first edition we met twelve blogs talking about the “Management of small (large) conflicts in everyday life”. There they were: Bego, from Much more that I am, to whom adolescence is stalking her through her older “little bomb”.
Cris, from Pipo, Pepe and Dads, who left us a very sweet post about how parents face the suffering of our children. Terenya, from With my eyes and with my hands, who made a header text with advice valid for any age.
Bea, from Bea's mother of two, verbalizing paternal fears at the first outings. Nuria, with a hat and crazy, with a very ironic text about the clash of cultures and education. Kat, from Mami Katabum, who introduced that essential factor in family life that are sibling relationships.
Aída, from Aidixy and her stuff, who talked about how parents with blogs find it harder to talk about the problems the older our children are. Sara, from The Smile of Mini Yo, dramatized the “tantrums” of her daughter. Olga, from Miss Airgam Stories, warned us what to expect in preteen.
Marisa, from Stressed Mothers, contributed a very sharp post about how we should see them grow and let them go, and Ruth, from La Mala Mamma who went further reflecting on whether, sometimes, parents "make" our children older before their time.
Having all of them has been a pleasure, I hope you repeat because, in addition, the family reality of each one is so heterogeneous that they provide very enriching visions and nuances
PyM.- I don't know from your experience as a mother, but you are in contact with other mothers and other fathers who are in charge of blogs. So I dare to ask you, what are the issues that concern us most from the age of six to ...?
M.F.- I think that, at this stage, what worries us most is the Emotional development. They no longer make us sleepy if they eat well or badly, they are supposed to sleep asleep, talk, walk, do not wear a diaper, are more autonomous ... but we fear that situations are created that will cause them irreparable emotional damage, and this I say it with total irony but recognizing that I am the first one that also happens.
From there, we are concerned about aspects such as their social life, the relationship with friends, also many aspects of academic education, relationships between siblings and with the rest of the family members, we look forward to forming emotionally stable adults, with great self-esteem ... That's at least my impression, but every family is a world and each father has his own aspirations.
PyM.- Did you imagine when your children were babies what your life would be like after 6?
M.F.- Honestly no. When a baby is born, and although in the end the reality exceeds any initial forecast, you are more or less clear about what you are going to face in the first months / years. You also assume that adolescence can be hard ... but, in between, my husband and I do not consider even half of the situations we are facing now.
Family problems should not be minimized, but they should be relativized and dramatized.
PyM.- Do you dare with general advice for parents who have just opened in this new stage?
M.F.- I do not like to give advice, I leave that for specialists in the field. But since my daughters were born I have been learning that the problems should not be minimized - I am one of those who think that all stages are difficult and the most complicated problem is always the one we face in each moment -, but do relativize them, dramatize them, and with that I want to say that sometimes we get involved in an issue and it is impossible to find the solution without putting some emotional distance from it.
Well, here the interview, I hope you liked to meet Maria, Merak Luna for some. It has reached me his closeness, the trust he has placed in me, and his sincerity.
María is a Galician by birth, and she has revealed to me (I confess that the curiosity was not mine but one of my children) that the name of her blog (“Implosive Cyclogenesis”) is due to the combination of two factors. On the one hand the explosive cyclogenesis that has hit Galicia, on the other, the inner storm (hence 'implosive') which has caused him to meet the virtual world.
I still want to thank you for your collaboration, and also the initiative # hayvidadespuesdelos6, which I recommend you follow, because I think that will contribute a lot to the relationship with your children who are no longer babies, and especially to your growth as fathers or mothers.
Thanks to Merak Luna, and also to the mothers (or fathers) who are there with each call, willing to contribute your grain of sand.
